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English Senior High

英検2級のライティングです。 添削お願いします*_ _)♪ よければ改善点もお願いします。

(9 ho No. Date Werting. 2 on yit agtee' vWithk this idea thet parents do noti buy,O their childrer a smart phorje. I ng 1'have two reasons for it. くConclusion> れ.conclusion , J dont think , porents should buy. f word) 60 heir children, a'SmarTDhone their children, a smartphone because of sanng tinp andthein heath d d e. 19 wordc 39 <Body> To begtin with Smariphone, For:Stance. playing gamés afd" watehin youtube videoes. .. H they, déna ' havél aispmortphibne, theye Con spend more . children will spend time. by hayjing.agea more time fer 'Studying. (32) Next, watrhingsmort phone ismo1 geod fer our eyes. Andihcwa tehiklg smari phore is not good for ourlibrain. Iy h In other ward, having Smartpi8ne ishot good for dur heoih Cogeed fo tal (100 word CSLCamSeannerでスキャン

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