とても素晴らしいと思います!
自分もあまり意見は言えませんが、、、
ひとつ聞く側になると
2つ目と3つ目に「London」が多く使われているので
目的語を使ってあげて聞きやすくするのは
どうでしょうか!!
文の内容は素晴らしいと思いますよ!
English
Junior High
明日やる英語の行きたい所のスピーチです!
長くなってしまったのでカットできる所や
言い換えられる所、おかしい所の
アドバイスを頂きたいです!
↓↓↓
Hello everyone. I am〇〇〇〇.
I want to visit London. I have 3reasons.
First, I want to visit Tower・bridge.
Looking at Tower Bridge at night is very beautiful.
So i want to go see it at night.
Second, I want to ride a big Ferris wheel.
Its name is the London Eye.
The highest point of it is 135m.
I want to ride it and overlook the city of London.
Third, I want to eat cupcakes in London.
There are many delicious cupcake shops in London.
I want to go eat it with my friends and family.
IN Conclusion I want to visit London.
Please come and visit us.
Thank you for listening.
Answers
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