Question

svt1122

要約文を50語くらいで書くのですが、何かおかしいところとか どの情報が必要ないのか教えてください

Jath sa fH55.  On Angust 6, 1945

ped  OVer

At least 130,000 pe。 1
Ble

7 an

中 It began
Hiroshim
9. Th。

atorniC
b destroyed the Gt

bom
the 7e3r

ied by the end of         中wo-year-old Sasaii

Sadako survivedi

BE class. She wanted to b
Si

en she greW DP・  mn the sixth grade sh
Na

ber of the relay team for
e

d as a mern
rvery haPP

yas selecte
ssports day made he

選 About3a month after th
octors thought that he
+

snddenly becarne sick. Thed
“rt wi be fcul

sickness carne from the bomb.

her to jive for more than one yea5 8
六     フ     doctor said

for
to Sadakos parentS.

ア school Sadako could run 令  !
St

e sports da Sadak。 *

 

10

本 。 Jn the hospi
cranes. She r  PaL Sadako recay
き証に    emm              ed s
embered the NN     Some paper
mfyou
make a

中ousand cx
aeS, You w get wall>  S
・ She made
many

for good healtb。

EOID       2                 sh
hospital. Herlife ended when Po NN
as only twelve

cranes. She made a wish 。   1
n them

She didnmt lose her hope, b
but

正 。 After Sadi      5
に Pe ed it was 中fficult for h
1 和 Ni 結  They built a statue
JRfeni 0 Hirosbima Peace Memoral
oh      ny people send paper cranes to
around the world。 The cranes are

for Sadako and for peace

L226 words1

Oo Azust 6, (74S 4 4foorrc bozp の4 4ルoppc4 の 。
和Hzeshiza . Ta。 - Zr - ol4 sk んko zarvroed. のa< ルル 72
引c sAddc。(し 当らGe he 2とSA LOiSD o0 040M
Pe貼7 es 名rood pealth. + her lrfe eed<d oe2

hc As 90(レ tyelue. 1 ws 本伯cxlT+ 久, ccepf her 4e坊.:

0gヶ 人 4 1伯4ら of 上Eu 22

Answer 1

✨ ベストアンサー ✨

ミント

Soを文頭にもってきてはいけません
, soで文を繋げて用いてください

Butも同様です
,but として使います

svt1122

そうなんですか、ありがとうございます

ミント

さらにit was difficult for accept〜は意味不明です
It was difficult for 人(目的格) to do〜という風に用いなければいけません

It was difficult for her friends to accept her death. が正しい表現です

svt1122

うとうとしながらやっていたので酷いことになってしまいました💦
訂正ありがとうございます

svt1122

In 1945, a bomb dropped, but two-year-old Sadako survived. She suddenly became sick when she was twelve. She made a wish on many paper cranes, but she died. It was difficult to accept her death for her friends. They built a statue of her for her and peace.

また書き直してみたのですが、添削をお願いしてもよろしいでしょうか？

ミント

書き出しはOn August 6,1945のままの方が良いと思います。
became sick に繋がるのがatomic bomb なのでa bomb →a atomic bombの方が好ましいです。
あとは特に問題ないと思います。

svt1122

了解です、何度もありがとうございました🙇‍♀️