Question

璃梨唯-Lily-

英作文
添削お願いします！

I have
many
dreamms s0
I can't choose One n0w
I'I write all of my
dreams, First, I want o be an
English
teacher. As you know, my
father is an English teacher, and
actuall y my
mother studied English and educotion.
I want to
I like English, s0 I want to learn more
English. Second,I wont to be a crafts person to repair
and I play
be like my parents.
instruments.
I join the bras>band club
percussion
I
Some times the instruments break and necd to repain.
yearn
for the Chattt person. I want to tir many instruments and
I want to ple0se Iclients. Third, I want to travel many place.
1like Japan becaue Japan Ihas many good place. I ke
foreian country Too because there are
landscape nd food
jodny kinds of culture,
S0I
I want to be a
traveler like
back paaker. Iwant to f my dreams,
Come true all

Answer 1

✨ Best Answer ✨

Xx_Saskia_xX

気付いた点です。

a craftsperson to repair instruments.
→ a repairperson for musical instruments.

I want to fix many ~.
→ I want to repair many musical instruments to
please my clients.

~travel many place.
→ travel many places. ※places と複数形に

I like Japan ~.
→ I like to travel in Japan because there are many good places to visit.
※原文：多くの場所に旅行したい。私は日本が好きです、なぜなら日本は良い所を多く持つからです。
↑一文目を受けて二文目につなぐので、二文目に「日本を旅行したい」と入れて、一文目との関連性をしっかりさせる。

I like foreign country too ~.
→ I like foreign countries too ~. ※countries と複数形に

So I want to be a traveller ~.
→ So I want to travel like a backpacker.

I want to come true ~.
→ I want all of my dreams to come true. または
I want to make all of my dreams come true.

璃梨唯-Lily-

遅くなってすみません！💦
ありがとうございます！！

Xx_Saskia_xX

ベストアンサーを有り難うございます❗