Question

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英検の英作文の添削お願いします🙇‍♀️
問題
Some people say that people today should spend less time using the Internet.Do you agree with this opinion?

Yes,I do.There are two reasons.Firstthe
more time using the Internetthe less
time studying .Of course,some people
can use it for studying but most people
use it for doing any other things.Second,it
is bad for our health to see the screan of
the device's for a long time.There are
many things that we are interested in the
Internet ,so we tend to use it until late
night.Once we start to use itwe cant stop
to do easily.For these reasons,| think that
people should spend less time usindg the
Internet.

Answer 1

✨ Best Answer ✨

やっすー

よく書けてますよ。あげる事例も適切で伝えたいことがすっと入ってきます。大分厳し目にみて添削しますね。

2,3行目のusingとstudyingはwe use , we studyの方がいいです。6行目screenのスペルミス。
下から3行目stop to doをstop watching it にしてください。stop to doだと止まって何かするみたいな別の意味になるので。
厳し目にみてもこの程度のささいなものしかありません。今後も頑張ってください💪

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的確なアドバイスありがとうございました！助かりました🙇‍♀️