Question

芽瑠

英検2級のwritingです。文法的に間違ってないかの確認お願いします。

It is often said that restaurants and supermarkets should
try to reduce the amount of food that they throw away. Do
you agree with this opinion? (POINTS: Cost, Health and
safety, The environment)

12
I agree with this opnion that restrants and supermarkets should try to
reduce the amount of food that they throw away.
21
25
I have two reasons.
F
First of all, food that they throw away is not good for environment. 317
We should protect environment.
41
GY
Second, if restrants and supermarket try to reduce the amount of food 53
that they throw away, have positive impact on everyone. Then, we
will have changed and we do not food that they throw away
with this opnion
For these all reasons above, I
96
860
agree

英検 英検2級 ライティング

Answer 1

✨ ベストアンサー ✨

Xx_Saskia_xX

気付いた点です。

~two reason → two reasons.

restaurants and supermarket → restaurants and supermarkets
restaurants も supermarkets も両方複数形にする

Second, if restrants and supermarket
→ Second, if restaurants and supermarkets
restrants →スペルミス restaurants に訂正
restaurants も supermarkets も両方複数形にする

, have positive impact on everyone.
→, they have positive impact on everyone.
主語 they が必要

Then, we will have changed and we do not food that they throw away.
→ It will lead us to change not to waste food.
(それは私たちが食べ物の無駄を失くすことにつながるでしょう。)

food that they throw away の繰り返しを避けて言い換えたほうが良いです。
例)
wasted food (無駄になる食べ物)
unconsumed food (食べ残し、消費されない食品)
food goes to waste (無駄になる食べ物、捨てられる食べ物)

For these all reasons above, ~ .
→ For these reasons, ~
For these reasons だけで十分です。

芽瑠

ありがとうございます！！
繰り返し言うのはどうかな〜と自分自身思っていました。
参考になります！

Xx_Saskia_xX

ベストアンサーを有り難うございます❗